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A Dumb Takes preview of the Bruins’ offseason 06.13.16 at 12:56 pm ET
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The Penguins winning the Stanley Cup confirms that Claude Julien is a bad coach, or something. (Jean-Yves Ahern/USA Today Sports)

The Penguins winning the Stanley Cup confirms that Claude Julien is a bad coach, or something. (Jean-Yves Ahern/USA Today Sports)

Here is a vast overview of where the Bruins stand entering the offseason. It includes their cap situation, their trade chips and how they’re best-suited to fill areas of need.

This is a Dumb Takes edition of that.

As we did entering the Stanley Cup Final, this is an estimation of the less-than-intelligent points you will run into either on the internet, radio or television if you haven’t already.

To avoid any confusion, the Dumb Takes will be italicized. Any logic will be formatted normally.

TRADE TUUKKA RASK

When you don’t have as many good players as you used to and you have a lot of money, the move is to trade one of the best goalies in the league because he makes a lot of money. Did you know that Tuukka Rask wasn’t EITHER of the goalies in this year’s Stanley Cup Final? Did you know that Matt Murray and Martin Jones were the reasons their team reached the Final, but that Tuukka Rask wasn’t when the Bruins were there in 2013 and he put up significantly better numbers then than either Murray or Jones did this offseason? Did you know?

The Bruins shouldn’t have any untouchables because, despite a less-than-great Eastern Conference team just winning the Stanley Cup, the B’s have just as good a shot at being in no-man’s land in the coming seasons as they do of being contenders. So while they should be willing to move Rask if they can get an overwhelming return, the idea that trading one of their three best players should be a priority is really, really stupid. Rask had a bad year on a bad team, but his career suggests he’s one of the best five or so goalies in the league and he’s still just 29. Maybe put a team that’s good in front of him — the Bruins were 20th in the league in 5-on-5 high-danger scoring chances against — and he’ll manage.

FIRE CLAUDE JULIEN

It isn’t too late! Where would Sidney Crosby be right now if the Penguins hadn’t fired their coach mid-season? Dead, maybe? Well Mike Johnston, a first-time head coach who by all accounts wasn’t a good one, is EXACTLY THE SAME as Claude Julien! They fired him and look what happened!

Claude Julien is a good coach and some of the coaches that have been fired aren’t good coaches. The reason the Bruins weren’t very good this season was because their defensive personnel was very bad. Julien had to rely too much on Kevan Miller, but that was because Kevan Miller actually seemed like a viable option compared to Julien’s other options at times. That’s on management, not the coach.

But which good defensemen has he developed?

Johnny Oduya, Johnny Boychuk, Dougie Hamilton and Torey Krug. Guys who played elsewhere — Zdeno Chara, Dennis Seidenberg, Andrew Ference, etc. — had the best years of their career when playing under Julien.

So they should just keep everything the same?

No, they should keep the good things the same. They have a good coach.

NEVER SPEAK TO J.P. BARRY AGAIN

Why are the Bruins talking to Loui Eriksson’s agent? Why would they consider signing Eriksson?

Because they only have one good right wing (David Pastrnak) and he’s never played more than 51 games in an NHL season.

But they shouldn’t re-sign Eriksson. He doesn’t do anything special.

There were only seven players in the league with 30 goals and a Corsi Relative of 9.0 or higher. Eriksson was one of them.

But he’s not going to score 30 goals every year!

There were only 12 players in the league with 25 goals and a Corsi Relative of 9.0 or higher. Eriksson was one of them.

Should the Bruins definitely sign Eriksson at all costs? Of course not. In fact, if Kyle Okposo doesn’t cost much more, they should sign him instead. But why would a team with a gaping hole on the right side — and no help on the way from the AHL with the exception of Seth Griffith — close the door on its best right wing? It must be because he doesn’t hit people.

It IS because he doesn’t hit people!

That’s because his team usually has the puck when he’s on the ice.

TRADE CHARA FOR A YOUNG TOP-4 DEFENSEMAN

Here’s one that actually is a good idea in theory, but it just might not be feasible. If the Bruins don’t do it, it’s because they can’t. Chara’s contract is good (pricey in 2016-17, but very cap-friendly in 2017-18) and he’d be a stud second-pair guy for a contending team, but the fact is that a team with a good young defenseman should hold on to that asset for dear life.

Not true! The Bruins were willing to trade Hamilton!

That was a bad move by them.

No, he was never that good in Boston.

Yes he was. This must be because he didn’t hit people.

It IS because he didn’t hit people!

Read More: Claude Julien, Tuukka Rask, Zdeno Chara,
Bruins have no bonus overages 06.13.16 at 12:38 pm ET
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The Bruins will not face any bonus overages for next season, WEEI.com learned recently. In the recently concluded season, the B’s had to pay $969,000 against their cap for their 2014-15 overages. The season before, they had to pay $4.75 million in overages because of bonuses achieved mostly by Jerome Iginla.

Entering the offseason, the Bruins have $52,215,000 committed to 16 players, assuming Malcolm Subban makes the team.

For a closer look at how the Bruins stand entering the offseason, click here.

Bruins’ pick from Sharks is No. 29 as Penguins win Stanley Cup 06.12.16 at 10:51 pm ET
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The Penguins are Stanley Cup champions after a series-clinching 3-1 victory in Game 6 vs. the Sharks. In winning the Cup, the Penguins became the first team from the Eastern Conference to do so since the Bruins in 2011.

Former Bruin Phil Kessel did not win the Conn Smythe, as Sidney Crosby was the recipient of the playoff MVP award. Kessel led the Penguins in postseason goals (10) and points (22).

The Sharks falling in the Final means that their first-round pick, which the Bruins have from last summer’s Martin Jones trade, will be 29th overall. Boston’s own first-rounder is 14th overall.

Panthers trade Marc Savard’s contract to Devils 06.10.16 at 8:50 pm ET
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Marc Savard’s contract has been traded again, as the Panthers flipped it to the Devils along with a second-round pick in 2018 for forwards Paul Thompson and Graham Black.

The value of Savard’s contract to a team is that they can use his $4.027 million cap hit to help them reach the cap floor next season while only paying him a $575,000 salary. Savard, who has not played since 2011 due to concussions, has only one year left on a contract that paid him $25.5 million in salary over the deal’s first four seasons but had a lesser cap hit due to significantly lower salaries ($1.5 million, $575,000, $575,000) in its final three seasons.

The Bruins initially shipped Savard’s contract to Florida last summer along with Reilly Smith in exchange for the rights to then-restricted free agent Jimmy Hayes.

Read More: Marc Savard,
Bruins announce preseason schedule, details of training camp 05.31.16 at 3:24 pm ET
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The Bruins announced their preseason schedule Tuesday, also revealing details about rookie camp and the team’s general training camp.

Rookie camp will open on Sept. 15, while main camp will kick off on Sept. 22. The Bruins’ preseason games will begin on Sept. 26 when the B’s host the Blue Jackets at TD Garden. Included in the preseason schedule is the previously announced game between the B’s and Canadiens in Quebec City on Oct. 4.

The full schedule of preseason games is as follows:

Sept. 26 vs. Blue Jackets
Sept. 28 vs. Red Wings
Sept. 30 at Red Wings
Oct. 1 at Flyers
Oct. 4 at Canadiens (played at Videotron Center in Quebec City)
Oct. 6 at Blue Jackets
Oct. 8 vs. Flyers

Report: Alexander Khokhlachev to sign in KHL 05.31.16 at 2:34 pm ET
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According to a report out of Russia (non-Russian-speakers: Hit the translate button on your browser), Bruins 2011 second-round pick Alexander Khokhlachev will sign with SKA St. Petersburg of the KHL next month.

Khokhlachev, who is still 22 and had 70 points (23 goals, 47 assists) in 63 games for Providence last season, vented his frustrations with the Bruins organization during training camp prior to this season. The Russian center has played in just nine NHL games, registering no points. The B’s will retain his rights until he’s 27 in the event that Khokhlachev returns to the NHL.

Khokhlachev is the second player to leave the Bruins’ organization for the KHL this offseason, as center Joonas Kemppainen signed with Sibiu Novosibirsk earlier this month.

Read More: Alexander Khokhlachev,
A dumb takes scorecard for the Stanley Cup Final 05.30.16 at 9:18 pm ET
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Martin Jones is better than Tuukka Rask, according to someone, probably. (Aaron Doster/USA Today Sports)

Martin Jones is better than Tuukka Rask, according to someone, probably. (Aaron Doster/USA Today Sports)

This probably should have been written before the series started, but I didn’t think of it until now. As such, I started writing it during the national anthem of Game 1 and here it is.

These days, advanced metrics, GIFs, line-matching data and more are available to help inform the opinions of sports fans, media and even coaches.

Yet because a lot of people grew up without these things, it’s still relatively common for them to go ignored out of either laziness or one’s desire to share a very forced opinion, or what the internet unflatteringly calls a “hot take.”

You hear takes every day, many of which are horrifyingly dumb: Shea Weber deserves a Norris because he’s never won one, one-time 20-goal-scorer Matt Beleskey is better than two-time 30-goal-scorer Loui Eriksson, the Blues lost because of Vladimir Tarasenko, John Farrell moving Jackie Bradley Jr. up in the lineup killed his hit streak, etc.

Many Bruins followers are torn as to whom they should root for in the Stanley Cup Final between the Sharks and Penguins. Either way, they’ll see a big-name former Bruin who receives a laughable lack of credit for their career end up winning. From there, it’s tougher to decide, so it’s worth it to consider which scenario will bring about the dumbest takes and pick against that one. Here are some of them:

IF THE SHARKS WIN

— Firing the coach is the way to go. Always fire the coach. Call it “parting ways” if need be, but get him out of there. And get the “C” off whoever the hell your captain is. These are proven ways of winning the Stanley Cup.

— Martin Jones is better than Tuukka Rask, the latter of whom hasn’t done anything since getting a big contract (except win the Vezina).

[By the way, as of the first period, Jones had allowed as many goals in one period as Rask did in 14 periods against the Penguins in the 2013 Eastern Conference finals. Jones obviously had a better year, albeit with a far better team and against far fewer high-danger chances.]

— It is technically true that Joe Thornton did not thrive under Claude Julien during his time in Boston, and now he’s off winning the Stanley Cup. Just another reason as to why Julien should be canned.

— Logan Couture (presumably) led the playoffs in scoring. Do the Bruins really have a guy who can do that?  Read the rest of this entry »

Read More: Claude Julien, Joe Thornton, Martin Jones,

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